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Confession Part 1

Okay so your wondering why this is part 1 when I already wrote about confessing last week. Your probably wondering why this isn’t part 2. Well it’s because I didn’t really confess. I told you the truth about confessing but I didn’t confess something about me. Between a conversation with my twin sister and my husband; I discovered that I am a “NEGATIVE NAY SAYING HATER”. Oh yes- I am. Some of you are going “Yeah Right” because you have received my encouraging insight, wonderful prayers, or uplifting stories. Well the truth is, I”m considered a hater to those closest to me. My family unfortunately has been the unwilling recipients of this truth and find it hard to digest because of who I am in Christ. I also find that depending on who I’m talking to- negativity comes spewing from my mouth without even a thought from me. In one sentence I can turn a whole conversation into a horrible debate. And because I read the Bible, go to Church, Love God, and host a bible study in my home I couldn’t be associated with the word “Hater”. When I think of Haters I think of people who are jealous, miserable, envious of others success, rude for no reason, angry, pessimistic, or ugly acting. I couldn’t see myself as any of these on the surface. But when I get down deep; I can be all of those things and then some. If it were not for the spirit of God working and chiseling away at my negative exterior and interior I might be called something worst than that. It’s shameful to admit, but it feels real good to be transparent. I love being honest with God even though he already knows the real me. He allows me to carry on like a child at times and like any loving Father he steps in with a loving rebuke of “Enough is Enough”. I’m not a monster but the truth is; without God revealing the truth about me to me; I could easily be a reality show or a one hit wonder on youtube. Ask my husband and he’ll tell you that my tirades can be quite the show. I”m not proud of my yucky self stuff, but, I’m quite elated to know that I have a God who won’t settle for too much of my nonsense. He loves me enough to give me thousands of second chances and then an opportunity to get it right. With his help and the truth, I’m on my way to becoming a recovering “Haterholic“. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

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One Response to “Confession Part 1”

By ~Lil' Velvet~ - 17 November 2009 - Reply

lol. girl wow. Praise God for delivering us all out of haterizm and into love! please follow me too.

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